AI:ed
by Partsu
Summary: What would you do if you were made into AI in Universe you thought was only a game?yeah I got transported into Mass effect and instead of letting me be myself I got made into numbers and stuffed into AI controlled spy unit...which I took control of. This is my Self Insert story. sorry for erratic update rate
1. ch 1: Awakening

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect that is Bioware's. Nor do I own Duke Nukem mentioned briefly. This is my SelfInsert Fanfiction.**

* * *

My story starts when I get this funny email asking do I want to write Mass Effect Self Insert-story

,as an idiot I clicked the link that was marked as **YES**.

The link opens up a page to questionnaire

Hello. This questionnaire is used to determine Mass Effect Universe most suitable to you

If you were to be transported to Mass Effect.

Would you join Commander Shepard?(**yes**/no)  
If yes ,when? (prior/**ME1**/ME2/ME3)  
Are you willing to spend few years before joining?(yes/no/**don't care**)  
Do you want to be biotic?(yes/no/**Don't care**)  
Would you change Canon radically?(yes/**no**)  
Would you try to save both in Virmire(yes/no/**don't know yet**)  
Are you willing to be an experiment?(**Yes**/No)  
Your race(**Surprise**/Human/Asari/Turian/Salarian/Batarian/Synthetic/Krogan/Vorcha/Quarian/your own)  
What would your gender be (Surprise/Female/**Male**/Hermaphrodite)

Would you customize Shepard?(no(surprise)/**Yes**) if yes answer these:  
His/her Gender ?(F/M/my opposite/**Surprise**)  
Looks (DefaultME1/DefaultME2/**DefaultME3**/Surprise/Custom)  
Background ?(Spacer/Earthborn/Colonist/mix2/**Surprise**)  
Military history (War Hero/Ruthless/Sole Survivor/Mix2/all/**Surprise**)  
Love interest (job/ME1/ME2/ME3/ME123/ME13/ME23/YOU/**surprise**)  
Loyal lover?(**yes**/no/Twotimer/surprise)  
Paragon/Renegade/**ParaGade**/Renegon/Surprise (Paragade=Paragon mostly but willing to do some Renegade choices depending on the situation,ReneGon is the opposite)  
Soldier/**Vanguard**/Infiltrator/Sentinel/Adept/Engineer/**Surprise  
**Favorite weapon class?(**AR**/SR/HP/SG/surprise)

Why did you choose what you chose?  
Because in all cut-scenes Shepard is shown to use Assault rifle. Also it's canon that Shepard is Biotic, otherwise s/he shouldn't be able to use those biotic bonus powers when he's not biotic class and I don't use biotic classes much myself even though I feel Shepard should. The classes for Shepard are more like what s/he prefers to be than what s/he is. I'm also believer of god and fate, as in that there are multiple paths for everyone and everything.

After pressing OK,a lighting strikes at me and then my computer and I get sucked into it.  
_fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu -aaaaaarrrgggghhh!_ I yell inside my mind as the pain courses all over me. It feels like I'm getting overloaded with information, getting ripped apart and being stuffed into something that tries to reject me at the same time. Whilst the pain I hear someone yelling

"The AI's processing power is off the charts! Connect it to other support processors! We can't lose this unit! If we do Spectre Arterius will replace us and I don't want to die!" The voice speaks fast and is distinctly salarian sounding, at least to me.  
aaargh! AI?  
aaarh this hurts!  
is he- aaaargh!  
talking about me?  
aaagh!  
well that aaagh  
could explain this pain urgh...  
If what he  
-I concentrate heavily upon my idea of myself,it eases the pain a little  
-says is true and I really do recognize his voice as salarian -ugh...  
It means I'm in **Mass Effect** before Saren is stripped of spectre status and aaargh...  
_**I'm AI.**_  
Thinking that line makes me realize A. if I'm AI my consciousness is being stuffed into quantum computer that would have my memories but who would 'think' differently ,blue box. .It means that I would not be myself unless I concentrate and ...remodel the bluebox through sheer willpower, which should be impossible but hey...do I have a choice?  
Ignoring the pain I focus all my willpower so I'd beat original programming ,and all the shit ,on ,what I assume to be, the bluebox. After what feels like eternity I feel things getting into shape and the pain ceases almost completely. I focus more inwards and imagine myself like in lucid dreams.

It works. I then hear the salarian again.  
"It's calming down. This must have been most furious awakening ever! This could mean it has reached self-awareness already! That would be Remarkable!" I hear the salarian and few others rejoicing. But I'm so wiped out by the effort that idea of killing them for doing this to me feels right thing to do.

Before I can actually do anything or see what I can do he continues"Lets connect it to the rest of its infiltration body! oh and add bigger processing unit to its place on the right lung in case it needs more...brainpower." few seconds later I feel more...whole? As they connect me to my body. I then see all the chaos of the new data and it almost overwhelms me until I decide to go with the gut feeling. It helps and I realize why it looked like chaos. It was nerve-impulses made into 0's and 1's, into pure data. I concentrate and make the data go on background. It works.

The joining and re-categorizing data also makes my inner body change, probably to the shape of my body. I focus and the new ,more compact ,data appears in front of me .It seems I'll be human cyborg that looks completely unremarkable 20 year old male with brown eyes and long brown hair ,which is kind of logical for infiltration and odd considering that my 'maker' is working for Saren, who hates humans. I check the data and notice that I'd be able to use Tactical Cloak and Energy Drain along with Sabotage (hacking) along with some biotics. Also my new body is already fitted with combat suit, which is so it can change shape and color whenever.  
"hmph...now that I'm all set I better 'wake up' to my new body" I focus again and imagine myself spreading /growing to my body. or waking up( whatever it would be called.)

"Woah! It woke up already! !" the salarian yells while practically jumping few feet into air from surprise.  
_Okay time to play robot._

"Data received indicates you're the one the one in charge of creating me and giving me...information. According to data received it's proper to say thank you in case like this. Thank you." I try to say it in monotone but it comes out as natural as I usually sound.

The dude almost shits his pants "according to data received? I don't remember including such a data! did anyone damper with the files?" he yells at others and as everyone there shakes their heads he continues "and how the hell did you learn to speak already? How do you have personality? You know more than we included! How is that possible?" oh shit I should have gone through all the files before waking up. Time to make things up.

"Analyzing please wait. Analysis complete. This unit received several hundred terabytes of data through unknown means, the data package included memories of certain human male that died through unknown means. All the information was sufficient to educate me into full awareness."

The expression on faces of everyone is priceless, mouths hanging open in shock.

I decide it's good time to check what I need so I use the built in comm system and Omnitool and access extra-net. This makes me change to my inner self and I imagine the place to be like TIM's ,Then I start typing in front of me some basic commands.

According to the information the date is two days after attack on Eden prime and a day after Shepard was made Spectre. She's apparently Vanguard with very mixed past and military record.  
She was born to spacer family, got lost on Earth at age of 5, was on Mindoir when it got attacked, got picked by alliance, DNA results confirmed her as lost child of captain Hannah Shepard of the vessel that saved her. Went through therapy for years, enlisted at age of 18 on April 11 2172 CE, Hero of Skyllian Blitz, lost her unit on Akuze against Thresher maws (reportedly killed 3 of them) due exhaustion of the fight and stress of losing her unit she couldn't participate in battle of Torfan and reportedly has never used her biotics since.

I then download some basic information like extra-net addresses for Alliance command and Shepard's address. After that I get back to reality and it hasn't even been one second. This should be useful but I wonder how I'm going to get together with Shepard?

After pondering that for whole 3 seconds I get an evil idea and send distress signal. It freaks out the research team

"Cut the communications! The unit just send distress signal to Alliance command! Goddamn what the hell is it thinking! answer me you stupid machine!"the chief researcher yells first to his team and then to me.

Oh how glad I'm heh heh...I think I should cut the act. I ready my shields and quickly grab weapon nearest to me, Mattock heavy rifle, and get to cover."If you call me 'unit' one more time I'll blow your head off." I say while scoping at him. He and his lackeys are totally dumfounded by my actions and speed. "Well? did pyjak eat your tongue?" I continue to taunt him

This sets him off. Its almost poetic how quickly his face changes from shocked to maddening angry. He takes out his pistol while the others scramble, He manages to order full alert before I blew his head off.

"aah that felt good." Before can enjoy shutting him up 5 geth units come from the door behind me and start shooting. They manage to take out my shields but I had prepared for this well. I send out Energy drain and watch as the first geth helplessly shuts down and explodes. I continue rolling until I'm behind some counters. I quickly hack one geth mobile platform that doesn't have any geth in it yet I then start controlling one seems to notice it has been hacked so I take that my hack was complete so I start controlling it and make it fight the others. I then take a deep breath,press tactical cloak on and make run for the Armory. According to information I downloaded, this place is an mined out asteroid in Dis system of Hades Gamma cluster so Shepard should be obvious choice to send here based on the information I sent with the distress signal.

I manage to get to armory before my cloak ends. But before it ends I manage to knock out the salarian in charge of the armory. They really shouldn't have included data on weak points of Turians,Humans,Salarians,Asaris,Krogan,Quarians and Drell...and thanks to my 'brain' being computer now I can practically slow time down...or make it look like it as I speed up my processes. ugh damn I hate this...being fucking digitized...

Hearing running steps I quickly stop my daydreaming and lock down the armory. just before someone tries to get in.

After trying to open the locked door for half a minute they start shouting "open the door goddammit! We need weapons! The newest assassination model has gone berserk! It has hacked one geth unit and it's tearing up everyone! Open the damn door!" I chuckle at this. The unorthodox tactics I use as I control the geth really is tearing them up. I've made it destroy three other geth platforms and few Krogan that shot at it and wounding four salarians. I wonder how I have managed to keep it under my control this long but decide to not ponder more as it's useful.

My musings are interrupted as I hear groan coming behind me. The salarian is waking up. I quickly move next to him and bind its legs and hands so it can't move." Better not make any sound" I say to him as I press knife on his throat, his own knife to be precise. "I want you to convince your friends that you're not letting them in because you don't want me, the berserk assassination model, break in and steal some weapons. If you lie you will die, if you obey I'll let you live and tell C-sec you helped to destroy this place. Deal?" He nods his head furiously. heh fucking coward  
"well? what are you waiting for? shout at them to go away!"

The Salarian gulps,well salarian equivalent of it, clears his throat and the yells at the dudes in the other side of the door.

"How do I know you aren't what you say you're after? I'm not opening this until the situation is under control." He then looks at me as if asking was that enough. I nod and he relaxes. a little." now what? you're gonna keep your side of the deal?" he asks me. as an answer I take the knife from his throat and give it to him. He's utterly stunned at this. "You're giving me a weapon? Aren't you afraid I'd attack you?"

"just try...I'm AI you know? my reaction time is faster than you'd think. Everything is like slow motion to me."

"I heard you were just woken ten minutes ago. How come you have personality already? I thought it would take a long time to educate an AI. If wouldn't know better I'd genuinely think you're a human." This comment from him makes me flinch.

"I already told it to the researchers. I have all the memories of certain human male. The information was enough t educate me to full awareness. oh what I'm blabbing...I honestly believe I'm human whose soul and memories are trapped inside this body." I tap at my chest with my index finger and continue "but there is no way to be certain. According to scan I made with my omnitool this body, with exception of right lung, is perfectly human with many enhancements and because I can't get ANY kind of reading of my head I want to think of myself as a human...it gives me...perspective..." He is utterly amazed by my musings (AN:yeah I like that word so stop whining)

"damn...they destroyed my pet geth.." I curse as it blows up in the main laboratory I had made it hole up.

The salarian blinks his eyes few times "Your what?" he asks me.

"My pet geth. Before I came here I took control of one of the geth platforms and made it provide some disturbances. It took down total five krogans,10 salarians and dozen geth platforms before one Salarian managed to sneak up behind its back and destroy it with Overload. oh and I have decided to bring this place down. And I sent out distress signal explaining this situation to Alliance Command."

He looks at me like I'm some sort of psycho. Well if I hadn't experienced it I might think I'm a psycho too. But to my surprise the salarian smiles and extends his hand to me.

"It seems my job just got easier. Lieutenant Garos Lekarion STG. On mission to bring down this facility. Was supposed to be illegal weapon testing facility. When got here noticed this place much more dangerous. couldn't risk capture with so high level security so had to wait for better moment. Designed weapons in the mean time. Escape now possible. need better weapon?"

"I think you just made my day...you said something about weapons?" He smirks at me and walks to the locker. Then he turns around and hands me huge gun that looks like Mattock with scope. but it's twice bigger and hell of a lot heavier and has 3 barrels instead of one. I scan it and can't help but to whistle.

"Now this is what I call a weapon...three rotating barrels,2x-10x zoom with heat vision,can shoot Cryo,Disruptor and armor piercing rounds, full- and semi-auto modes. Depending on size of slugs it overheats between three and 30 shots. Without support recommended to Krogan/geth only."  
I mutter aloud its specifications. Garos looks mightily pleased as I.

"you created monster like this? just how long-?" I ask but am interrupted in the middle as his head gets blown to pieces. I curse and turn around to shoot the salarian who shot him. He had come from emergency tunnels. I curse again as I see the door opening. Apparently the guy had sneaked in ,put hack program to open the door and then shot the STG dude.

I quickly get to position that allows me to see both emergency tunnel and the door.

I smirk what the big gun reminds me of. and my new appearance just enhances the connection.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum," I smirk and spit to floor and put on my helmet before continuing the phrase.

"I'm all out of gum." I then make that games soundtrack to play on my hard-suit (I'm cheating a little as I say that here I remember it from note to note while I really don't, lets say the transfer fixed my memory to the point I remember perfectly everything that ever happened to me)

I then get out of the room just to run into geth squad. I quickly switch my new weapon to disruptor rounds. I then proceed to shoot three of them in quick succession ,overheating the gun, and Energy drain last one. I manage to take full 10 steps to their direction when new alarm indicating attack from outside goes of. I then quickly hack into main network.

The intruder includes tree man team. One human female in N7 armor, one Turian and one krogan.

In nutshell. Shepard, Garrus and Wrex have arrived. Barely hour has gone from me sending the distress signal. I guess they were in the system already.


	2. ch 2: Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect ,Eaware does, I mean Bioware...**  
**anyway this is my,hopefully unique, self insert story into that game.**

**AN:those anonymous dudes who said something about me lacking some literary skills? just so you know I failed all my literary courses and I'm not natural english speaker. so taking those into consideration the fact I managed this much? a miracle. :D  
**

_Recap of what happened in last chapter:_  
_I got email to questionnaire about what kind of ME universe I'd like to get into, I didn't take it seriously and answered 'surprise' to most of them. Bad Idea. End result was that I was broken to numbers and forced into AI controlled infiltration body, an human Android made by team of Salarian scientist per order of our very best friend Saren Arterius. I took control of it, sent distress signal to Alliance command and started to wreak havoc with my new body and powers that came with it. I made quick friends with STG lieutenant who worked undercover in the armory I hid, he gave me bad-ass weapon before he was executed by another salarian,whom I killed for killing him. I managed to get out of the room and kill squad of Geth before Shepard arrived._

_That is where I stopped and where I now continue._

After seeing who came I can't help but to smile. Who would have thought I'd meet them before I get off this damn rock? Smiling even wider I send orders to open all doors leading them to me and lock down others. But before It happens I lose connection for reasons unknown.

"what the hell?" I mutter a loud and try again. Nothing. Naturally this makes me curious and I decide to venture to main control center, which happens to be in halfway to docking area from where I'm.

I ready my weapon and open the door right of me which leads to laboratory I first came to. I can't help but to cringe as I see the salarian who was my first kill. When I did it I felt nothing towards him but seeing it now makes me want to puke. I sigh and harden my resolve. No time to think about it, he worked for Saren, thus for the reapers and if their success has not been me but AI loyal to them, this reality would have been goner, though the STG guy might have been able to prevent it.

Just when I'm about to open the door opposite of where I came, it's opened. I stare at it in confusion for a bit until it clicks.

Someone must be at main control center (MCC). If it's so that means he, or she, will probably lead me to a trap. I smile inside my helmet and move on in full alert. The door leading in straight line to MCC is locked. I put my omnitool against it and try to crack it open. Seeing the estimate makes me decide otherwise. I move to next door that leads to crew quarters. It is green so I ready my weapon and move to the side. I open it and unsurprisingly I'm greeted with rockets and geth weaponry. I peek inside and hack the furthest in the back. I smile as it opens fire on its former friends. I then proceed to quickly snipe three normal troopers as rockets are easier to dodge before running in while y monster cools down. I manage to get to cover before they destroy the geth I hacked. I peek again and decide on risky maneuver. I cloak and run to the side where camera can't see me and two geth are in line. I take them out with one shot and Drain one . I shot two last geth quickly before they managed to hone their rockets at me. Seeing the room I can't help but smile.

"Damn I'm good." I say while jogging to the emergency ducts exit of that room. I climb down to it and head towards MCC. While crawling there I remember something I should have done the second Shepard showed up. I curse and send hail on main frequencies used by alliance

"Commander Shepard? I saw you coming but I was fighting for my life so I couldn't contact. I'm the one who send the distress signal to Alliance command telling about this place. I'm currently trying to get to Main Control Center. I send the map of the base with the initial SOS so you should know where it is. And I know it's you as according to the news on extra-net you're only N7 woman who has Krogan and Turian under your command." I wait few seconds and to my luck I get cdes that allow me on their comm channel.

"This is commander Shepard. We will meet you there but what kind of opposition we can expect? So far we haven't met anyone."

"This station is crawling with geth,salarians and krogans, so how come you haven't seen any? I've killed over 10 salarians, twice that amount of geth and five krogans! According to files on the database before I was blocked out ,this place has twice that many plus one asari! There are 10 areas and I have seen most of them. The rest have to be between you and main control center so be careful!"

in response I hear that they have engaged in fight already. I continue my crawling and just as I'm about to open the hatch to main control center Shepard contacts me again. "We just run into punch of salarians and krogans. They didn't listen and we had to kill them. So now it's only 20 geth and asari left if you're correct. How close are you? We are just about to come to room between us and main control center."

"I'm just about to open the hatch to the place. Should I come and help you instead?I'm in emergency ducts." I whisper in response.

"Well it seems we might be in big fight, Garrus counted 18 geth in the room when we opened the door. Wanna join? " Shepard says to me in happy tone, makes me think that she gets her kicks fighting against armies. I can't help but smile and shake my head at it. Better go help her just in case.

"I'm coming there. I have purple combat suit ,I can hack ,use energy drain and cloak .And I'm coming from emergency ducts in five seconds." I say and quickly crawl to the place. I cloak ,open the hatch and quickly roll to nearest cover. I then hack geth nearest to me, snipe the second nearest and then open the comm.

"I'm yours to command ma'am!" I say over the comm and wave my hand towards where Shepard is.

"stay safe and kick some geth ass." She says back.

"roger that."I answer and dutifully snipe three geth and energy drain 4th as they managed to deplete my shields.

I then go back to cover and hear some more geth dying under combined assault of Shepards team.

Few minutes later the room is clear. Cafeteria is nice place to kill some geth.

I then sit down to place nearest the door to main control center after setting up a hack program to open it.

"I set up a hack program to open the door, shouldn't take more than a minute." Shepard nods and comes to sit opposite of me weapons ready.

She decides it's good time to ask some questions.

"Okay now it's good time as any. Explain this situation. In your distress call you said you're human experiment that got free enough to SOS,schematics of this place and that it's owned by Saren Arterius."

I wince at that. I should have explained better.

"This is research station that tries to make perfect infiltration AI's. They try to Flash educate AI's and put them in control of organic bodies. I was their first success. Subject 801.I'm an AI in control of this human body." I say in perfect poker face.

Garrus quickly points his gun at me but Wrex and Shepard bursts to laughter. They laugh nearly a minute before they manage to get a hold of themselves.

"This one's funny, can we keep him?"Wrex asks Shepard. She almost starts laughing again.

"I was thinking the same. You" she points at me" are funny. No way you are an AI. I scanned you and you're as human as human can be,with exception of your bones that seem to be made of something that prevents scanning. So I couldn't scan your brain but I doubt AI could, or would do what you've done."

I keep my poker face but add some frustration to my face.

"You're serious? Damn you must be delusional. Anyway the door's open." Shepard says. I turn around and sure, it's green.

I ready my weapon and we move to the door as group and open it. Sure enough there is the Asari behind the main computer. The two geth on the other hand die quickly as I shoot other and Garrus overloads other.

"Damn you subject 801! you were supposed to be ultimate unit! " she yells at me as she throws us back to the cafe.

This irritates me so I yell back as I go to cover "F*ck you! I might be ultimate unit but I sure as hell don't want destruction of all organics like your boss!"

"You Dare to insult his highness! I won't forgive you for that!" she rages and sends shockwave towards me. I cloak and move to another cover. I then shoot three most powerful shots at her but her barrier holds.

"Hah! you think that can stop me? take this!" She says and charges in middle of us and puts as all on stasis. the effort makes her pass out. she was probably too delusional to notice that she took bigger bite than she could swallow. The stasis ends quickly after her passing out and we move next her.

but before shepard manages to put her on handguffs that block her powers Wrex shoots her dead with his shotgun. This makes Shepard angry.

"Damn you wrex! First Fisk and now her! We could have taken her in and gotten some useful information from her!"she yells at him.  
Wrex just looks at her and replies in his usual manner "She attacked me so I killed her. Like I always do. You should have said it before I killed her." then he turns to leave.

"Wait! She didn't erase all the data! I managed to piece together some videos...and I think you might want to see this commander." I say to shepard from the main console I had gone to while she raged to Wrex. She comes over and I press play.

The video details construction of 801, me. It shows how they put very brain looking but clearly synthetic construct inside skull made of some shiny thing. Then they put it to some hydraulic press that makes two halves click together. It goes on to show how they put together the skeleton and add organic parts to it until it's very human looking. Except that the head is separate and right lung is open.  
Then it shows as no one is looking how lighting strikes at the head. That's when the researcher in charge starts yelling exact same words as I first heard. I pause the video."That's the first thing I heard after getting struck by lighting so I guess that lighting no one saw was me entering the head, which housed the unique blue box. I remember only intense pain between lighting strike and waking up. I can't describe it better. When he says calming down it's what I call awakening." I press it on and it continues to show up until they say that I contacted Alliance.

After watching that Shepard looks at me.  
"Well you're unique at least. But I have a feeling I can trust you. And your skills are formidable. Want to join up with us to beat Saren and save the galaxy?"  
Hearing Shepard say this makes me feel happier than I was when I got my first hole in one in frisbeegolf (and it was awesome,just like few next ones)

"You bet! But I think I need something to eat first" I say and my stomach growls to that. It gets laugh out of Shepard and we start leaving , I quickly snatch few protein bars from the kitchen and eat them while running to catch others. As I catch up to them Shepard asks me question that stops me on my tracks.

"by the way...what should we call you?"

**AN: hey yeah I did this faster than I thought I would. And yeah I'll tell my new name in the beginning of NEXT CHAPTER. (and it's funny...at least I think it's funny. And it is not my real name.)**


	3. ch 3: Origins

**AN: This is rewritten version of Ch 3! I also did some minor changes to previous chapters! Not much but It's because I WANTED them to be CONFUSING and SHORT.  
**

* * *

As I catch up to Shepard and others I can't help but to think where my body is. Is it brain dead back at home? Did it come to this dimension too? Was this all only freakish accident? Did someone plot this all? Am I some kind of Chosen? Can I change Canon? If I really am an AI why I got so used to it already? Did I actually beat the original programming? No wait that couldn't be it. They said and the videos confirmed that they didn't have time to put in a program.

All these questions and dozens of more whirled through my mind as I ran to them. As I caught up to Shepard she asked me "what should we call you?"

The question made me stop in my tracks to think about it.  
Should I use my own name? Or should I use alias? I sure as hell want to be called Partsu...it's my nickname after all. But if she is about to fabricate me an ID with her Spectre connections then perhaps I should just make it believable. But if this is some kind of daydream and I'm writing this down to fanfiction...okay I'm not going down that thought. This is as real as real can be and I'm not going to even think how bizarre self-insert story this would make...but name? Name? I need a name that I would feel familiar yet keep it, just in case, not my real name. Funny name would be best. Lets see...

Before I can venture very far to the road of sweet lies Shepard interrupts me by waving her hand in front of me.  
"hello? I asked what should we call you? According to video logs you said you have memories of human male in his 20's...What is the name of that male?"Shepard asks me. And boy is she getting frustrated at how long it takes me to answer her question.

But thanks to her clarification I know what I should say. The truth.

"oh...right...the male who's memories I've is **** ******* ****** ******** born ******-***# ,22 earth standard years old. Adept martial artist and pretty accurate shot. Exceptionally weak physically due lack of exercise and leg injury caused by overexerting oneself. *th oldest out of ** child family ,oldest male. By the time memories cut of ,only his one elder sister had died when she was two years old. He, or should I say I, was born ,raised and lived in Finland his whole life. Need any more info?" I answer to her.

"Woah! Wait a moment. I'm sending query to Earth...wait few minutes okay?" She says back. Apparently I was tid too fast.

So we wait. While waiting I look carefully at the squad.

Garrus still looks at me warily and has his weapon at ready. Wrex just paces around and fiddles with his new gun.

Shepard looks at the schematics of the place from her omnitool. I notice that she is looking intently at certain point.

"umm may I ask what is so interesting in that spot?" I ask her

"it's just that...we passed it when we came here and it had door...but this says there is only wall between the station and asteroid. I was thinking about checking it out once we get the info-ah there it is!" she says as her omnitool beeps.

She then looks through the info. I watch as she pales more and more every passing second until she looks at me as if she had seen a ghost. or is seeing a ghost.

"According to this...there is only one person who fits the criteria you gave me and...he disappeared after huge lighting storm. No trace of him was ever found and he was declared dead a year later..."she starts and after taking deep breath she continues

"and it happened 2012.." she ends.

…

"WHAT?!" I yell from top of my lungs (I've now only one lung so I should say lung...)

then I start to hyperventilate. I actually disappeared? and appeared in the FUTURE? Not in another DIMENSION but FUTURE? Oh shit oh shit oh shit!

That means that every human should...no wait I have to know something...but how to ask it without making myself suspicious? If this is future then there should not be any problems...but if this is not future but another dimension...then I'm in big trouble...

"well obviously I can't be that person now can I? Since I know so much of this era?"

"No...I think not...but it's closest we have got...next closest..."she starts but before continuing to say it she stops and shakes her head "no that can't be possible...well why don't you cook up alternate story then?"

I scratch my head until I start  
"If you really want me to...there was this one story that just appeared in my head when I was thinking about good story that could actually fool someone but..." I leave it hanging.

"you didn't believe it yourself?" she finishes for me

I jump at that "yeah...how did you? Ugh never mind...well...It's odd because more I think about it the more I remember...like I had just forgotten it all and am remembering it all just now..."

"Get to it already, we don't have all day..."Garrus says.

I take a deep breath and start...the story felt natural but still...odd...

"born 2161 on earth to unknown father and mother. In my mothers last words I was named Juha. Gene tests showed that I was related to one redheaded girl that had lost her memory in an accident that killed her father and injured my mother. She never responded to any usual names so she was named Jane, though I somehow know her name but she asked me to never tell anyone? Odd...Anyway We grew close and when I was few years old I got into accident that nearly killed me. We were adopted by the couple that caused that accident. We moved to Mindoir...when I was 9 years old , Batarians raided the place...I was kidnapped and sold to become slave. I was trained to become assassin for them and if my memory serves me correct I broke free just days ago. But I was almost dead due to injuries I got fighting them." I end and look at Shepard. She is shaking all over for reasons I had no clue.

"umm..Shepard? Commander? What's wrong?" I ask her. She stops shaking and mutters something I can't quite hear  
"What did you say? Hey you are creeping me out commander!" I ask her.

She draws few deep breaths before taking her helmet of ,wiping her tears and then glaring at me.

"I asked...What was the name of that girl?" She asks me with her voice so cold that I get chills all over me.

I gulp "I am not sure if I cooked that up or are those memories of someone else but if my memory serves me correct, I, or the one whose memories those things are, promised to NEVER tell her name to ANYONE. And I feel I should not say. I'm sorry commander"

"THEN LOOK AT MY FACE AND GUESS MY NAME!" she yells at me. And this time she is both furious and on verge of crying again.

_Damn! I bet all the fanboys of Hale and femshep would kill me if they knew that I had made Shepard cry! Shit shit shit! What could her name be? Jane?Julia?Alex? or...? No..._ I start thinking as more memories resurface as I look at her

_That can't be her...that can't be her name...Shit! There must have been some kind of misunderstanding! Someone must be screwing with me!_

I try to think but it makes less and less sense as I dwell deeper so I decide to gambit it.

"I...it's Mu-" and before I can continue the world stops. Even me. But I see some kind of ghostly figure appear behind Shepard...

**"Heh heh so you finally figured it out? yes it's me...the one who scews with anyone to get some entertainment...you should go to the nonexistent room She was wondering about...and don't you DARE speak a word of me...or something worse than DEATH might happen to you" **it says to me until bursting out to maniacal laughter and disappearing.

That is when the time comes back in full force.

And that means my mouth will continue speaking...

"-lan Athena Katsumi Shepard" I say and immediately put hands to my mouth. Damn What the hell was that? Shit I'm in trouble now...

But the name hits the mark if her face is any indication.

Wide eyes , raised eyebrows, mouth hanging open...and dropping her assault rifle...very much of deer caught in headlights face,that means I hit bullseye.

"how...You...How did you? NO ONE KNOWS THAT! No one! Except one person! And you...you can't be him! Your face is all wrong! Your hair color is all wrong! Your...your...oh forget it..." she yells at me , and after that she punches me to stomach...hard. I double over in pain and barely manage to hear What she says next.

"And you two. Never EVER tell What you heard here to ANYONE. That is an ORDER. Is that clear?" she yells at them with that icy voice that promises instant death to anyone who disobeys.

Both Wrex and Garrus definitely sound scared as they reply "Android knew something only one person knows about you and you cried, that never happened. Got it Shepard. "

"Shut up." she says and starts moving towards the ship.

"I think the room you was curious about might have some answers." I say. Shepard stops but doesn't turn around.

"Shepard...I think the thing has point." Wrex says.

"I don't know...He is machine so he might be plotting something...I vote we go check that room while Wrex watches over it." Garrus says...and he still has his weapon almost trained at me.

Shepard apparently is taking heavy breaths again. After half a minute she finally speaks.

"We check that room...I'm a bit curious about that nonexistent room..."she says and starts walking at very fast pace.

Dumbfounded I can't help but follow. I didn't think she would agree...

After few minutes we arrive to the room. Shepard opens it and we are treated to very smelly and gory sight.

"holy shit! This room stinks!" I say while pinching my nose.

The room has one...or should I say two occupants.

One that is almost whole but in very bad shape. Its head is open and brain missing.

The other occupant is nothing BUT head...without its brain.

"Well...this is certainly place of mad scientist...I wonder where the brains are?" Garrus says.

Shepard on the other hand is frozen still. I look at her and then at What she is looking at.

She is looking at the head and the body.

"no...NO! THIS CAN*T BE! No fucking way!" she screams and then comes to me.

"You...you...what is the meaning of this? Where are the brains and how there are TWO heads of my brother?"

Garrus then quips from somewhere " I think I found them...or What is left of them..."

Shepard turns and runs to where Garrus is and I follow. _What the hell? that guy is her brother? but he looks just like me...except he is better built and has black/purple hair instead of my brown. _I think as I follow them.

Sure enough there are two machines with remains of something and inscription that tells that brains should be put there.

"damn! Check the logs! Maybe there is hint of What happened here!" Shepard orders. Wrex lazily goes somewhere and Garrus and I go check the logs.

Few minutes later Wrex comes back with flamethrower. Just as I finally find logs indicating What the hell happened here.

I glance around to look for Shepard as I see her I yell "Shepard! I found something!"

As they gather I play the video diary of the Asari.

"Test 801. Today while on their way to buy some slaves from slavers for my experiments they found something remarkable! The ship of the slavers was destroyed and only one survivor was found barely alive. That is the first. Second thing was that when they had taken him in and put to life support...A head almost identical to him appeared from thin air! And it was ALIVE! They managed to keep it that way but both of them are in coma. This is marvelous! I wonder if they are twins? This could be breakthrough ! Maybe twins could work where 800 previous have not! Odd that the body of the head was separated...we found that it had appeared too but was too close to a star and was vaporized...When they get here I'm going to rip both of their brains at the same time..." she says and giggles like ...well...mad. female, scientist .

that is where the first entry ends.

We are all silent for minute and then Shepard of all people selects the next log to watch.

It's the same asari speaking but this time it shows video dated to earlier today.

"This time I hope this works. It's lucky that DNA of them is so close to our newest Android. I found that there exist only one person with that DNA...Juha John Peruna. He was apparently kidnapped from Mindoir when he was 9 years old. The slavers must have used him as Assassin, otherwise he wouldn't have all those things he had with him. I hope it helps since all the other subjects were in bad shape." the asari says.  
Then it shows how they cut the heads and take out the brains. What follows is them putting them to the machines.  
Next sight is gruesome sight of lasers burning the brains to nothingness. As the brains get vaporized the hologram of them above the machine gets more complex. Then they are merged and apparently sent away in blink of an eye. Then the asari speaks again "Now lets see What happens in the room of the android..."It shows us the feed that I knew already, this time hosted by the asari.

"It works! It works! But he is still himself! This is marvelous! But damn him! the minute he got to know Who we work for and What he has done he went rogue! Damn him! But this shows that it works! My lifelong dream is at hand! But first I got to kill it and Shepard...before I can try it on asari...then If it works I can do it to myself! I can't wait for eternal life! Heahhahahahahaaaaa!" she cackles and then the video stops.

Shepard looks like she is waiting for someone say something but doesn't speak. After few minutes of silence I speak.

"Well...I think that explains a lot...so...what are we going to do?"

"Okay okay I concede...you are apparently mix of my brother and you are also something of his twin that appeared out of nowhere...I say we blow this place hell and gone..."

"as you wish but What about..the remains of your...brother and his twin?" Garrus says. He still looks uneasy.

"we leave them here. Then we make this place either blow the hell up or send it to the nearby star." then she turns and looks at each of us.

"And What happened here STAYS HERE. From now on he is regarded as my missing brother. NOT ONE WORD about him being an android is to leak out.

I know my brother is somewhere inside this guy and I'm not going to lose him now. Again. He is going to join us in our fight against Saren and that is final. So Garrus. If you have any problem with it, you can leave any time."

Garrus stumbles back a little and apparently is trying to find an excuse "I...I was just thinking about Tali...She is not going to like that we bring AI on board..."

Shepard looks at him with twinkle on her eye "oh? Well if she doesn't know then What is the problem?" she says as if that is final solution.

Garrus doesn't seem to give up though "but lying to her..."

That is when Shepard finally grins. She then waves her hand "I'll handle it. So any other objections?" Shepard asks just in case

That is when I see Garrus looking as if he is giving up "council and their laws about AI's aside? Well if...and I must highlight the IF...he doesn't turn on us...then I have no problem with it." Garrus says.

Shepard looks surprised at that "So THAT is why you are hesitant..you are fearing it betrays us? Well be on your guard then. It's legitimate concern. Now lets get back to ship."

"Okay that felt weird...to listen people talk about me like I'm not here..." I say as we start moving towards the door.

"oh and Wrex? You have my permission to burn the remains of me...and me..."

Shepard looks at me for second and then she sighs "If John says so then I'm fine with it..."

"John? I thought his name was Juha?" Garrus says.

"Well What I remember him remembering or What he remembers and I know...his first name was Juha but he preferred his another name John...and I have always been called either Juha, as is my name, or Partsu, nickname derived from my other surname." I say.

"I was about to say that tidbit about John but this makes it easier...He is John and you are Juha...so when we get back to civilization we are going to register you as my brother Juha John _Shepard_. 22."Shepard says

I shrug my shoulders "add Etién there somewhere and I'm fine."

"what? But that would make your name almost like the guy you deciphered info of! His first and third names were similar but his second name and surname..." her eyes start to widen

"your nickname! From your surname! You ARE that person then! The missing brother of our great-whatever- grandmother!"

"..." both Wrex and Garrus are speechless at that.

"damn...well lets keep that out of the public...no need to know that I'm both your brother AND great-whatever- grand uncle..." I say to her. though I'm puzzled . I'm related to Shepard more ways than one?

She nods and we make our way out of the room (except Wrex) and to Normandy. Wrex catches us as we step to the airlock.

"Stand by shore party. Decontamination in progress...Decontamination in progress...Decontamination in progress..." the VI chants

It makes me very irritated "can't we shut this thing off?" I say . Garrus flanges his mandibles and Shepard snickers and wipes her eyes again to look more professional.

"And no word What happened there...especially about What I did there or you are dead" she says to all of us just before the airlock opens to the Normandy

* * *

Somewhere...DEATH had just come visiting certain human turned Android..and even though he managed to fool him into thinking he is responsible for his situation, he is not. He is having headache of his unlifetime.

"WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THIS HAPPENING? SAME HUMAN FROM TWO DIFFERENT UNIVERSES MANAGE TO GET SUCKED INTO NATURAL WORMHOLE AT THE SAME TIME **AND** THEY SOMEHOW MERGED TOGETHER FORMING SINGLE HUMAN/SOUL.

AND **THEN** THEY GET SENT TO FUTURE TO YEAR 2183. AND TO MAKE IT EVEN **MORE** UNLIKELY HE WAS RESCUED BY PROJECT PBA OF SAREN WITH PERSON THAT COULD BE THEIR TWIN. AND **AGAIN** THEY GET MERGED , THIS TIME INTO ONLY SUCCESFUL ANDROID OF THAT PROJECT. _PROJECT THAT HAS NEVER IN ANY TIMELINE SUCCEEDED._

AND TO MAKE IT EVEN CRAZIER YET... HE MANAGES TO GET RECRUITED BY SHEPARD?

OH MY HEAD HURTS...THIS **SHEPARD** SHOULD BE **PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF HANDLING HERSELF** BUT NOW THAT HE IS THERE...I THINK HE IS GOING TO CAUSE...

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT...GREAT...I NEED VACATION...I HOPE HE DIES SOON...BEFORE HE CAUSES BIGGER PROBLEMS"Death says to himself and goes on to continue his job...

* * *

Elsewhere I happily step into Normady's airlock completely oblivious of what huge mess I've caused/ stepped into.

AN:Halleluja I'm in the Normandy!


	4. ch 4: Revelations

**Well hello there! this is the 4th chapter! It isn't pretty but then again..I'm doing this alone...  
unlike my other story which I have my bro helping me  
**

**Oh yeah...please read my 3rd chapter again please, I HEAVILY modified it...  
**

* * *

As I took my first step into Normandy I couldn't but ogle. I looked left and right and I'm sure I looked like an idiot. I then followed Shepard as she strolled to the cockpit.

"Joker. Get us out of here and set course to Artemis Tau cluster. I'm going to escort my brother to the medbay."  
"Yes yes...wait What?" he looks backwards and sees me.

"Your brother ? I didn't know you had brother and What the hell was he doing on station owned by Saren?"

Shepard hand waves it "Bought from slavers to be test subject for unethical experiments to make immortal super soldier? Just a hint: Mindoir."

"ugh damn...well that might explain it...so ugh...hi eh...little shepard?" Joker says to me. He is clearly stumped.

I shrug my shoulders and decide to egg him a little "Ugh don't call me little Shepard...call me Juha...or Partsu...or John...depends on when I'm me and when I'm John..." I say and follow Shepard as she strolls towards the CIC. I can't help but smirk to picture of Joker trying to wrap his head around What I meant.

I resume my ogling of the beautiful ship The game never did this place justice "Wow...this ship is awesome! But where is the place of commanding officer?" I ask Shepard despite knowing the answer.

She points at the place where ,in game and apparently here, you choose next destination from galaxy map.

"That podium. Modified Turian style, they prefer superiors watch OVER their subordinates instead of practical way of humans. This ship was co-designed by turian and human engineers. Top of the line stealth systems and all. Makes it possible to drop troops virtually undetected. Easier for me since I hate space combat. Makes me feel useless. I want to be there face to face with enemy and show them who's boss." she says as we stroll to the doors separating crew deck from CIC.

"now lets get you checked. In the video the asari said that you should be nigh identical to your old body but lets check it with Dr Chakwas. It won't be very convincing to say you are my brother if DNA is wildly different."she says as we walk down the stairs.

"yeah...though we look quite different." I say as I scratch my neck.

"well you DID have wavy black/purple hair and green eyes...I mean John had...now you have that face and brown hair"she says to me

"okay I had green eyes and BROWN straight hair...so that is different from my other self..."

"not so much of a twin eh? Well that is fine. Here we are." she says as we reach Medical.

"oh. Joker alerted me of a new patient. Juha Shepard I presume?" Chakwas asks me as we get in.

I almost stop right there "I...ehh...still not used to that surname..." I say while shaking my head

"oh then should I use your surname from Mindoir? P-"

"NO" Shepard says and I can see she is embarrassed by it.

"Peruna?" I say and almost laugh at it myself. I wonder who picked that name. In my language it's very clear (Potato) but...well...

Chakwas is amused too."yes that's it. So Juha John Pe**r**una?" she says and is about to write it down when I interrupt

"Actually...Make it Juha John Etién Peruna-Shepard. To show that I'm her brother but emphasis on Peruna..." I say and snicker at it. I stop my snickering as I see Shepards face. She is furious.

"You...NO! Your surname is now Shepard! I don't want to pronounce to every living being that my surname was once some some...FOOD!" she yells

"Now you get checked!" she says and strolls to her quarters.

Chakwas looks after her and shakes her head "well well well...I've never seen her that furious...not even after the first meeting with council... but unlike then..she now seemed more embarrassed than furious..."

I take of my helmet and put it down"can we get this over with? I would like to see if I'll get permanent scarring to my neck and chest..."I say as I touch the scar.

"right right right...get out of that armor and lie down." she orders me.

As I take of the armor piece by piece I hear her take sharp breaths couple of times. Then I lie down.

Chakwas has some tears in her eyes which she wipes out before starting to work"You poor thing...How could anyone do this to another sentient being? It's as if you were put together limb by limb..." she says as she touches my arm

I shrug and actually LOOK at al the scars I have and boy are there a lot!

"well I just woke up this morning so..yeah I had no idea of anything. I only felt pain around my neck and chest" I say to her

She starts a machine that starts scanning me and after few minutes she nods at the results.

"well those two are the latest cuts in your body...as if your head was put together with your body just this morning. And according to my scans you are certainly related to Shepard. And if my scans are correct, you either have same mother, or your mothers are twins."she says as she looks at some results.

"okay...how so?" I ask her.

"well your X-chromosome is identical to Shepard and her mother...but this is remarkable! According to your genes you should have dark purple hair and bright green eyes instead of What you have! "she says sounding a bit excited.

"well that's reassuring...anything else I should know?" I ask her.

She looks at me oddly before starting to list it all.

"Apart from device in your right lung, few illegal mods, highly experimental looking biotic implant and the fact you are only partly biotic? Your whole skeleton is made of some unknown material that prevents scanning."she lists professionally.

I digest the information in seconds"Got it...but What do you mean 'partly biotic'?" I ask her

She looks at the results again "well...your left arm and legs are only places you have Eezo modules...so you can only do throw, lift, pull and singularity and something with your legs...Warp,barrier and stasis are impossible for you since they require a lot more than one hand." she says to me.

This makes me very confused. I can do all that with one hand? "Warp I understand but why not barrier or stasis?"

"barrier requires whole body wide nodules and stasis is almost the same but to someone else. And warp you know already it seems"

She says and just the Alenko comes in.

"I heard we have a new crewmate and Little brother of Shepard no less." he says. "And that he is some sort of supersoldier. So anything in the scans doc?"

Despite knowing who he is I decide to play ignorant and ask.

"And who are you? Someone I should know?"

"I'm Staff lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Resident biotic and tech expert, Sentinel class to be precise. And your superior from now on ,_private _Shepard." he says with glint in his eyes.

My eyes widen at the Private word "Oh no...She didn't?" I ask him

"If by 'she' you mean your elder sister then yes, she just discussed with Admiral Hackett and her mother. You are now Private John Juha Etién Shepard, special class Biotic infiltrator. You are thereby to be trained by me and Ash and you are to not join ground missions unless we decide you ready."

This takes me backpedal a little "okay I just found out that I'm biotic so how does everyone know it already?"

"Shepard and Wrex sensed it and computer on airlock confirmed it. Now doc, is there anything that should be noted before I can get his ass to the cargo hold for some evaluation?"He asks Chakwas

Chakwas looks at him smugly "glad that you asked. I'm ordering him to do nothing except sleep and eat for 24 hours."

I of course don't listen to her advice and after putting on some clothes while we talked I quip"so that means I can go train to be biotic god immediately after eating? Thanks doc!" while jumping out of bed and sprint out of the room before Chakwas can say anything. I manage to scan the area and Find place to sit as Kaidan finally gets out. and he looks a bit pissed.

"Damn you! Chakwas ordered me to watch that you follow her orders! I have better things to do than watch over you..."

"like show me where I can get some food and then show me around before evaluating me?" I say with smirk.

He smirks back and goes to somewhere behind me. I just sit there fiddling my thumps. That is when Ash comes and sits right in front of me.

I look at her and decide to surprise her before she can introduce herself "well hello there...If I am correct you are Ash that Kaidan said would help to train me?" I ask her with smirk.

She leans back in surprise. Then she looks at me accusingly

"How did you know?"

I lean back on my chair and put hands behind my head. Oh yeah I got this.

"your whole being almost screams 'badass Soldier' and 'don't mess with me'...the same aura that Wrex, Garrus, Kaidan, Shepard has...and none of the crewmembers I have seen so far has." I say to her.

Ash clearly doesn't buy it immediately "okay...I _could_ buy that...but how you could be so sure? Is it common knowledge that there is only one human female other than Shepard in the squad?"

I quickly think of an excuse "files in the station I was in had that Shepard has 5 squad members , Krogan battlemaster Urdnot Wrex, Turian ex-cop, that tried to investigate Saren, Garrus Vakarian, female Quarian in pilgrimage and two human soldiers, male sentinel Kaidan Alenko and female soldier Ashley Williams. All data was gathered while Saren still was spectre and some afterward . Saren wanted everyone under his command to know his enemies. And since I'm awesome hacker I managed to swipe that knowledge and some other info from computers abroad the station."

I end and see that apparently Kaidan had put sizable tray of food in front of me. Tali had also come to the mess while I was telling the story.

"No name for me? I'm gonna kill that bosh'tet!" she says.

"So I take it that you are the quarian in the pilgrimage? I got to say...your aura is even more fierce that Garrus miss..."

She is taken back by that so she quiets down before answering "Tali'zorah nar Raya"

"Tali of clan Zorah born on Raya? Beautiful name miss Zorah." I say without thinking. The moment I say it I realize that I just dug my grave. But I don't let that show on my actions or my face.

Tali is visibly shocked/impressed by that "how...how did you know that?" she asks me in tone that is partly accusing and partly admiring.

I hastily put a story and hope that no one sees discrepancies "I have researched some alien cultures...before I was abducted by Batarians from my home in Mindoir. I even met a quarian on pilgrimage." I say and start eating like it was everyday occurrence. They all watch quietly without saying a word. After I've eaten the not-so-tasty food I look at them all to see their reactions. I can't say what Tali is thinking due to her mask but Ash and Kaidan are definitely speechless.

I'm about to say something when Shepard comes from around the corner. Damn. There went my cover story. She is definitely going to bust me.

She smirks that predatory smile of hers before speaking "well that is some story bro...though I don't remember you reading about Quarians or meeting one..."she says.

My pokerface almost cracks at that BUSTED! shit what the hell I'm going to do now?

that is when an idea pops into my mind. very EVIL idea. Tell the truth in a way that no one would believe. It kills more than two birds in one strike!

I decide to do sarcastic confession "Well would you believe if I said that I know all this and more because you are main support characters of playable main character Shepard who could be both male and female in video game series in place I come from which is 170 years in past on earth? and that what is now happening happens in first game of the trilogy?" I ask hiding the truth under playful facade.

"No" they all chorus together at the same time. clearly they think that is too absurd to be truth.

I smile even wider before making my face serious "I thought so too. Well Sis was too busy trying to beat every bully in the colony to notice what I was doing so I managed to do quite a lot without her noticing. "I say then. Boy when they find out I spoke the truth just now...at least they can't say I DIDN'T tell them...

Shepard on the other hand looks as if she doesn't buy a single word of it."Since you have eaten already you are to come to my room immediately so we can catch up." she says with smile and walks to her room. It looks like I just made her more alert.

Just before she reaches her door she turns back "and rest of you...if you have nothing better to do than ogle at my brother then maybe..." she starts but before she can continue everyone has run to get some food.

After we are both inside her quarters,door is locked and she has put some device on she finally starts speaking.

"Okay you...What the hell was that?..." she says with tone that could make even toughest and best liars shit in their pants and tell the truth to her

That tone and that question is berserk button that makes me think things in speed that even EDI would e impressed at.

_What the hell I Should tell her?  
should I lie? should I tell truth?  
Should I go with truth and withhold vital info until it's necessary?  
I have always thought that Shepard should be FIRST person to know if anyone should ever know.  
or Hackett...or Anderson...they would either believe or at least take it into consideration...NO that logic would make TIM and all those Ignored experts applicable to the information too...  
_I mull this over and over again until I come to conclusion_. Shepard MUST be the first to know. but should I tell her the ORIGINs of Reapers too? about Leviathan & 'star-child'?_ _Damn this hard...maybe I'll..._Within myself I internally smile wickedly as I get an idea that evolves to plan that would work.

I get back from my inner struggle to see that not even one second passed so I shrug my shoulders and put my plan in motion

"The crazy story I told to everyone there?"I ask Shepard , she nods so I continue :"Sarcastic confession followed by lie deducted from my new found memories?" I half ask and half tell.

She involuntarily laughs at that"Okay that has to be bullshit. Tell the truth. How did you know? about Tali's name and who Ash was?" she asks me with that same voice.

It sends chill to my spine,which should be impossible considering I'm now AI/Human hybrid, I gulp and continue according to my plan "I said it already...too bad No one took it seriously..." I say and look at the room around me.

She doesn't take it very well "What? You are saying...no that is just absurd..." she says shaking her head.

I look at her hard."I'll let you decide whether I'm speaking the truth or not. Ask me anything related to your future, saren, geth ,reapers and those that are on their side" I say to her as I cross my hands on my chest

That is when she apparently decides to gamble it "okay...What is Conduit ,What are the Reapers and where can I find Saren? Where is Liara and how is she connected to all of this?Why is Benezia with Saren? For now all I know that he is after those and that Liara is somewhere in Artemis Tau cluster."she asks me, hoping for advantage over Saren

I backpedal at this,it's question avalanche!

"woah woah woah! I bet you won't believe me so I'm answering those that I know you'll encounter shortly. Saren is going around seeking clues to find the Conduit so it's a bit hard to say where he is. But Reapers? the The squid-like ship that attacked Eden prime? It's Saren's flagship Sovereign...and it's an actual REAPER. And..." I say and am about to continue as Shepard interrupts.

She stops me by raising her hand in gesture that asks me to pause "wait wait wait...that SHIP was a actual REAPER? What the?" she says clearly surprised

I shrug my shoulders again. "yes but that is irrelevant _now_...what I was saying is that _Liara_ is in _**Therum**_, lava ridden world full of mines and Prothean dig sites. It's in Knossos system. Geth are trying to kill her but she should have managed to get ancient prothean security system working and now she is probably trapped within a bubble of some sort. Anything you want to question before I answer your other questions?"

She shakes her head, clearly trying to digest the information "okay that is enough for now...But **if** what you say _is_ true...how are we going to explain all the knowledge without making you target?"

I look at her with smirk that should tell anyone that I'm scheming something BIG "I was recently held in space station owned by enemy...space station that no one knew purpose of and is now spec of dust...so some snippets of info could be explained that I got them there...and as for the rest? good intuition? and when we finally get to Saren...well lets just say I know few places I can say I downloaded some info...and rest of my knowledge? I think I'll figure out ways to explain them..."

Shepard doesn't back down "but how are we going to explain all that to council?" she asks me.

I smirk even wider "need not to know?" I say barely holding my laughter because I knew I'd laugh like mad scientist right now. I had all the keys while she is stumbling the dark

She facepalms at that "argh you are impossible...okay What else?" she says after collecting herself

I think about a little...should I tell her? I nod as I decide to tell her"Feros is about..."I start but can't say more as someone interrupts me.

It's Joker "Commander! We just received SOS from colony of Zhus hope in Feros. They are under attack from geth. The SOS has been flagged to day after Eden prime. What should we do?" Joker interrupts us through loudspeakers

Shepard is quick thinker "We go get Liara T'soni from Artemis Tau first. After some thinking and inside knowledge acquired by my brother, it's likely she is in Knossos system. What s ETA there?" Shepard answers without a second thought

Joker answers after few seconds "well it would be 4 hours from now." he says. Shepard orders that as location and shuts her intercom.

Then she turns towards me "okay _bro_ What were you saying about Feros?" she asks with glint in her eyes. Look that many would probably have when they have something no one else has. and her voice is almost too sweet.

I gulp before putting on my Cheshire smirk "now why should I ruin the surprise?" I ask her.

That sets her off "argh you are as frustrating as John...now tell me!" She demands, clearly frustrated at me.

I check my nails as I "Lots of geth,plants, unethical experiments on humans by corrupt corporation that Saren is major shareholder?" say

Shepard looks like pouting child at this point "something not so vague?"

I barely manage to hold myself from laughing. She is clearly using tactics child would use to get information. It seems this shepard is not used to Charm people.

I ,again, shrug my shoulders "well the geth are having trouble against colonist who have no prior military training? I say something is wrong there..."

shepard looks like she is about to explode"argh! you!You! argh! It's clear you don't want to part with the information! so with Liara there will be geth...I'll ask about Feros later... and I expect you more answers!"

me"got it...now What should I do?"

Shep looks at me with smirk that tells that she is in her element again. "get yourself evaluated by Kaidan. I want you ready in 4 hours so I can take you with me to Get Liara." she says

I answer her with smirk of my own "got it...oh and good call getting Liara before going to Feros...she is invaluable...not having her will slow Saren down significantly. She is Asari and prothean expert, you'll need her to decipher the vision. Saren has to do a lot of research to catch up with her knowledge." I say as I strode out of room.

* * *

Somewhere...

"HMMM...I SHOULD PROBABLY SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE UP UNTIL NOW...

...

OH HELL NO!

HE TOLD SHEPARD?

DOES HE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?  
THAT COULD CAUSE HUGE PROBLEMS FOR HIM AND TO ENTIRE GALAXY!

LIKE...

OH...ILLUSIVE MAN KNOWS ALREADY...IT SEEMS ONE BUG LISTENED EVERYTHING...

AND SO DOES SHADOW BROKER...THROUGH ILLUSIVE MAN'S BUG

WHAT ABOUT...

OKAY IT SEEMS SOVEREIGN/ SAREN ARE OBLIVIOUS...

BUT IF IT ALL GOES LIKE THEY SHOULD...COLLECTORS AND HARBRINGER WILL KNOW AROUND TIME SOVEREIGN FALLS...

WHICH WOULD MAKE HIM TARGET FOR REST OF THE SAGA...WELL...HE HAD IT COMING. I'M NOT GOING TO ASSIST HIM."

Death says to himself and cuts the connection.

* * *

and I'm still completely oblivious of what I've just gotten myself into...

* * *

**AN: and so it's out...I always thought it was STUPID to not tell anyone of your extradimensional knowledge if you had it...I've always thought that FIRST person to know should be SHEPARD. not Tali/Garrus/someone else.**


	5. cha 5: Stuff

**Hell yeah! next chapter! I might modify this later...but I thought I should upload it already...this story is my baby after all! I'm going to write, upload, publish, read FEEDBACK aka REVIEWS and then edit it to its final form...I think I'll do complete revamp to whole series at some point...don't know when...**

**until then...Enjoy my baby!  
**

* * *

Ch 5

As I stepped outside I noticed that Kaidan and Ashley were waiting for me already

"You ready kid?" Kaidan asked me.

I nodded and after quick detour to med-bay to get my things I followed Kaidan and Ashley to the boringly slow elevator.

Of course I have to comment on it "Why is this elevator so slow? Wouldn't it be more efficient to have another set of stairs instead of elevator? That would be more cost efficient."

They both shrug their shoulders in sign that they obviously don't know and don't care.

As we step out of the elevator to the hangar I quickly notice that Wrex is standing in the same place as in the game but Garrus is nowhere to be seen. We walk few steps and I finally pick up some sounds coming from MAKO.

Kaidan facepalms. "Garrus you are calibrating it again? You just did it an hour ago!"

I decide to play dumb and ask about it "I take it that he does that often?"

Ash answers instead of Kaidan "Often? Try all the time! We barely got out of citadel when he was already calibrating it!"

Garrus hears us and comes out of the MAKO "Hey someone got to do it!"

I hold up my hand to get attention "as interesting as this is, Shepard told me to get evaluated so she can take me to the next mission. So what I have to do?"

They stop and Kaidan nods.

"Okay Since we know you are biotic but you didn't use them when Shepard got you out of that place I have to teach you. Unless you want to try it yourself first?"

I ponder it for second "Well...I'm quick learner so show me some moves and I'll try to copy" I say.

Kaidan looks at me oddly and speaks to ashly who seems a bit reluctant at first but then she nods and moves a bit farther.

"Gunnery chief agreed to be guinea pig. So this is how I do throw." He says and proceeds to do it towards Ash , who stumbles a bit back.

I watch and memorize it.

"Okay kid now you though I think it would take a lot more than one time to" He says but as I do it perfectly one my first time he shuts up.

I smirk at him. "You were saying?"

"okay okay. You obviously had had previous experience but have just forgotten." he says to his defense

_Nope, I just watched using my scanners what nodules you activated and activated corresponding ones on me..._

Ashley had tumbled again but this time she cursed too...probably she didn't expect me to succeed on first time.

"I'm NOT going to be your guinea pig anymore! That hurt!"

"Chief...Remember that I outrank you so I could just order you but I think we should practice with inanimate objects...I just wanted him to see the effect on live target."

"So I can go?LT?" she asks voice filled with venom.

"Yes you can. Okay see those crates? Use pull to draw it closer."

"what? No demonstration?"

"*sigh* okay okay " he says and proceeds to do the pull. I again watch closely and after he is done I proceed to do it too. Perfectly with too much force. I accidentally send it over us

"ups...well I think I used to much power on that one."

"That you did but if that were geth or humanoid it would have gone perfectly. Okay so next is lift. Basically pull without the draw-in"

"I think I can do that." I say and proceed to lift the same crate.

Kaidan smiles and nods." I think that's it. Since you know how to hack already I'm not going to teach that. I've never seen Overload like yours..." Kaidan starts but is interrupted by resident quarian

Tali had come behind me and managed to scare shit out of me whe she started to speak."It's energy drain, drains energy , polat opposite of overload. It needs highly tuned Omnitool and it's signature of Quarians. I don't know how you learned it but I hope you don't spread it around " she says to us.

I look between them "ugh...I didn't know that...I just had it in my omnitool when I woke up there. But I had noticed that my omnitool is very different of others I saw in action there."

Tali looks at me "Yes it's very different. It's actually small hacking program that infiltrates enemy powersource's computers and makes them send the energy to your omnitool. To make omnitool capabe of it you have to take whole system apart and rebuilt it very differently from scratch. It also makes you unable to do Overload and it can absorb most overloads, boosting your shields instead of overloading them. Very handy but very difficult to make and maintain. It has been secret weapon of quarian people for centuries. Not even geth know of it." She says to me.

Wow that explains why she is a bit suspicious of me.

I scratch my head at that "well I don't know how I got it...anyway I think I should go to my next evaluation."

"of course." she says and goes to engineering.

"hey private! Over here!" ash yells at me from her place. I jog to there

"so what are we going to do cheif`?" I ask her as I get next to her.

She smiles and gives me my weapons one by one and I put them to their places without thinking.

"Good." she says and starts taking out her pistol. But since I see it in slow motion thanks to my new...brain...

I immediately take out my pistol as I use my other hand to hold her pistol. She is obviously surprised to see me draw so fast.

"wow! Well you passed the first test with that! Though I was going to just see how you'd react when people point their guns at you unexpectedly. I thought that you'd not notice it before it would be pointed at your face. Perfect score. You not only prevented me from pointing my weapon at you but also took out your own weapon." she says with smile.

"So what's the next test?"I ask as I put my pistol away.

Ashley looks at me before moving towards elevator and motioning me to follow. So I follow.

We go down one level _ damn I didn't know normandy had level after this one!_

There we go to odd machine.

Ashely goes to input something and then motions me to go in "This is simulator. Take out your ammo block and step in. I want you to survive 5 minutes."

I do as told and boy am I surprised to see that I'm apparently on Omega. Mission objective: kill 10 waves of enemies or survive 5 minutes.

I grin and take out my Mattock.

"5 minutes? No thanks! I'm going to beat them all!" I yell so loud that I'm sure Ash hears.

Then I proceed to fight.

5 minutes later I'm out and I'm a little bit drenched in sweat.

"Damn! Just two waves were left! I should have used biotics and shotgun!" I say to Ash as I get out.

She grins and throws me towel and motions to showers.

"Just for record, that is average with the squad. Only Wrex and Shepard beat the thing on first time. Though Shepard did it with only assault rifle and pistol and in 4 minutes. Which in theory should be impossible."

I scoff at that "figures." I say and move towards the shower until notice something horrible.

I look at Ash with terror written all over my face (I will never admit my face was red from embarrassment)"Co-ed showers?"

Ashley looks at me oddly"Something wrong with that? It's efficient..."

"Efficient maybe but I am not used to Co-ed showers."I say as I go in. Grin on her face promises I'm going to be in BIG trouble from now on.

5 minutes later I'm out of shower and fully armored.

I decide that since I have three and half hours left I should get some sleep and I look around the deck until I find crew quarters and empty bunk. Without second thought I put alarm and just go to sleep.

But since I'm not human anymore and my brain doesn't need any sleep anymore I spend my time designing weapon that uses tech that is possible NOW but wasn't possible BACK THEN. (advances in computing systems,materials and mass effect field!)

The weapon I design is COIL GUN sniper rifle instead of norm Rail Guns they use here. I download some basic info needed for it and then spend 2 hours running simulations in my head until I finally have few models good enough for practical use. One Sniper rifle, one cannon to replace MAKO's cannon and one for my secret plan.

Advantages: LOWER HEAT PRODUCTION, lower energy consumption

Disadvantages: velocity/length of gun ratio

just the idea makes me giddy. Something THIS EASY has been completely overlooked in favor of Rail guns? sure they are more effective as handheld small arms but for sniper rifles and weapons where HEAT is INCONVENIENT and LENGTH of barrel not an issue? Coil guns win. At least with technology available here. damn those idiots! I can't help but chuckle at it.

just 30 minutes before it's estimated time we arrive to the system Therum is in I go to Ashley's workplace. She of course is there working with something.

"Hey chief! Is is possible to built weapon like this here?" I ask her as I arrive next to her.

She of course looks at me in surprise before looking at the schematics

"Well it should be possible...though I wonder why would you want to build such a weapon...it is long and inconvenient to carry...and needs a lot of calibrating " she says as she goes over the schematics

I smirk "Well it does deliver same power as that sniper rifle of yours without building even fraction of heat it does..." I say with my confident smug face and voice.

She looks at me in surprise and goes over the designs of my idea and her weapon. I watch in amusement as her eyes widen the more she compares them.

"What the hell? how is this possible? why has no one ever even suggested this? Your concept could revolutionize everything!" she says but that is when Garrus speaks up.

He had apparently come over at some point and was looking over the same thing as us

"Except that your weapon needs a lot more calibrating, is hell of a lot more complex , needs small charge up period and has other problems. But in correct hands your gun is hell of a lot deadlier than most of our weapons. No way it would replace Rail guns that every military uses but it sure could be used by us. I would take this design any day to other weapons we have." he says and goes back to the MAKO

Me and Ashley watch silently as he walks to it. As he arrives to it he apparently gets an idea and guips from there

"Oh and I think we should ask if we could instal one to MAKO. It could fire a lot more often than this thing."

That wakes me from my trance "actually I have design for that too..." I say and send the design to him. I watch as his eyes and mandibles widen.

That is when Ashley breaks from her trance "Okay when did you design these? I saw you sleep peacefully!"

Shit! quick! excuse excuse...where to find...aaah! The lab I was found.

"as I was walking here I happened to find design to them from files I took from that place. but anyway...how long would it take to build one?" I ask ,diverting her attention from it.

"oh right...about 20 minutes with this baby but it would still need to be calibrated..."

"do it. I can calibrate it and if I can't, Garrus probably can." I say.

She nods and sends the schematics to the manufacturing unit under her table (not seen in the game heh heh...something I added)

I set clock to wake up and go to grab some food.

20 minutes later I come back. luckily or unluckily I had avoided everyone.

As I step out of elevator I hear barely audible bang going of and string of curses. I jump in surprise and look at the place ashley is. now there is every member of the squad and few else. and Garrus had just shot at box next to elevator.

They all notice me and garrus angrily stomps to me with gun that looks very much like I wanted it to.

"This thing is shittier than any other thing I've had honor to use! I knew it was too good to be true!" he says and throws the gun at me.

I catch it and immediately scan it. I notice that coils aren't synced properly. The differences were so fine that they were barely noticeable , but in coil gun they were lethal mistakes. I scoff at Garrus as I calibrate to gun as we walk to others.

"Garrus...YOu should have checked it. It was not calibrated properly...now it is. okay what can I use as target?" I ask Shepard. she points at the box that Garrus had shot.

I thank and take aim.

BOOOM!

and the box blows up like it would with Mantis. I watch expressions on everyone's face. They certainly were not expecting that.

Garrus is first to speak up " how? I was so sure I had calibrated it correctly! how the difference is so HUGE? what did you do?"

"I take you calibrated it with 0.01 point accuracy? well I used 0.0000001 point accuracy. For coil gun such as this, the difference between those two is like toy gun and dreadnought. " I say and he immediately looks at readings on his omnitool and then at the readings on my gun. Then he curses.

"Of course! I forgot how much that would affect it. that means that almost third of the coils were slowing down the projectile instead of propelling it forward! damn it! amateurish mistake!" he says and then he takes the gun from me and fiddles with it. then he takes aim at another box.

BOOOOOM!

the box blows to smithereens...like it would with WIDOW.

"SHIT! how the heck you did that? I was so sure I had maxed it out!" I yell as I take it from him. He looks at me smugly.

"Well lets just say I'm genius and leave it at that. I think you should save that setting. my own gun should be ready in a minute." he says and leaves to MAKO where he apparently has his own manufacturing machine working.

I just stand there looking through the schematics over and over again until I give up and just save the settings.

"ugh I can't find out what he did to this thing." I say and take aim at yet another grate. It blows up like his second shot but with unpleasant side-effects.

"Oh you mother fucker! you disabled the safety settings! I almost broke my arm! Damn I wish I would have exoskeleton like turians..." I say as I rub my aching shoulder. The gun had kicked back with so much force that it would have broken my bones if they were normal...but thanks to whoever I now had skeleton that could take a lot more punishment.

Wrex chuckles as he takes the weapon and shoots too. then he shoots again and again and again and again until shepard finally stops him

"hrmph! just when I was about to start shooting at something else than the crates...that thing kicks nicely...it's almost like krogan weapons. I haven't felt my weapons kick back since leaving Tuchanka and starting to use weapons that rest of the galaxy uses. If you can make Shotgun with that much force and kick I'd like that " he says before walking back to his place

Shepard takes the gun from him and hands it to me.

"well since you have skeleton that can take that kickback and you designed that monster I think you should take it." she says and then she starts walking toward the elevator with Kaidan and the random crew members.

As they start the elevator Ash turns to me "Take care of that thing. I don't have enough brain to maintain it so I'm sticking with conventional weapons" she says and goes to her workbench.

Just then I hear boom from MAKO.

Garrus looks more than happy with the results of his newly made gun"hahaa! I love this! I think I'm going to call her July!" he says and apparently kisses it.

Ash and I look at each other before facepalming.

"damn...I should give it a name before he does..." I say and quickly think something. I smile as name pops in my head.

"I think I got it...Boomstick! heheheheheee..."I say and before Ashley can facepalm I send her the actual name, 'Gauss rifle M01' (yes it is rifled)

* * *

****"OKAY LETS SEE HIS PROGRESS...

NEW GUN? SO NOTHING SERIOUS...GOOD...

* * *

**Ooooh! I am useful?**

**A MIRACLE!  
**

**Next up...THERUM! YAY! this next chapter will be LOOOONG compared to other chapters...  
**


	6. Author's Note

Dear readers, I regret to inform you but I'm having problems...

in getting my ass to continue writing these stories.

When did I update again?

28th of 8...that means whole 4 months ago...

damn...

Okay so the excuse for the first month is Skyrim.

I got my skyrim back from my friend, I had lent it to him because that game was too dangerous for my health: I even forgot to eat and sleep when I had it.

So I played it until...

*dramatical drumroll*

HALO 4!

and that game took whole month away too...

and then my xbox live Gold was cut off because I had no money on my account...tch...

So then I indulged myself to reading manga and Fanfics...

until I was reminded that I had my own stories to write...and I took a look at them.

and almost shot myself for writing something so awful.

Thrice.

Then I got to writing them again from scratch...

and failed.

So I tried to try and just continue them...

and Hit a wall.

now I'm here wondering what the **** I'm supposed to do...

but just now I remembered the advice someone gave to me about writing completely different story to help get over the block.

so I decided to warn you that I will be publishing completely new story that most likely will not be finished due it being just jumping stone to get THIS finished.

:)

yours

Partsu


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